It was bound to happen some time, but my mother definitely did not prepare me for this. It was the girls last night before they were heading of to Bermuda for their trip, and they were determined to do something special New York style. So, after a mad day of last minute purchases for Tree and getting lost - it wasn't my fault - the train changed lines whilst we were on it and then I completely lost my bearings when we got off at Central Station. I am fully blaming Melatonin for this - it messes with my head, you know that feeling you get when you wake up from surgery? Heavily drugged like there's lead in your head and nothing in your body is connected? Ok - so imagine that and trying to navigate Manhattan. I think it's time I swear off it, the Melatonin that is, not anaesthesia - not that I'm suggesting I'm a regular user of anaesthetics - strictly under medical supervision for necessary medical procedures only. Kids - DON'T DO DRUGS.
After much mad rushing around we just made it back with a second suitcase for Tree's purchases and it was 11.15pm - would we make it in time? Disclaimer - I did advise the girls that heading out at this time of night when they had to leave for the airport at 6am was not the preferred course of action, and that 6 hours of sleep would be preferable - I mean, they still had to pack and all, but they were being called by the siren's song, that and being 18 and invincible convinced them they could do this. So if they were going, I was in. We drop the suitcase and leave for the subway post haste. Changing trains and heading for the Bow Tie Cinemas in Chelsea. Yes, it was the midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
For those of you not familiar with the concept, the original film plays in the background whilst the a crew act (and sing and dance) the show in front of the screen. Audience participation is a huge part of the show. For those back home in Melbourne, cast your mind back to the Valhalla cinema in Northcote (or Richmond for those that are slightly older), showing cult films like Rocky Horror, The Blues Brothers and the voice overs of silent movies (their voice over of Metropolis sticks in my mind to this day). It should be noted that New York was where this phenomenon began, so it seemed only right to see it here.
The Session began with the audience dancing at the base of the screen and in the aisles - too much craziness but it definitely set the mood., everyone was revved up. As an introduction to the show birthday celebrations were brought front and centre to be wished well (or as they put it a very big New York FU) and those who had not seen the show were called to the front. The girls and I, part of this "virgin cohort" standing in line (damn but that spotlight be blinding) were called upon to do our best fake orgasm. This was stupidly not what I was expecting. No, no, not all at once - we were called up to deliver the goods one at a time. The fact that we were Australian just set them off more. Needless to say, whilst giving it a shot (and holding the reputation of our country on the line) I was not going to display my best in such a forum. And sorry guys, but it takes more than a spotlight and a microphone to get me going. A good response from the crowd, yes, I can see how this would be addictive. Performing! Performing would be addictive, NOT fake orgasms in public! Sadly, we were pipped at the post by a guy who seemed to revert to dog noises at the moment of climax. I don't know how or why that is his preferred method of expression but hey, there is no judgement here - OK, just a little judgement. Relegated to the also rans - we returned to our seats to applause and many giggles, to await the main feature - the movie that is.
The show progressed with much raucous laughter at many many lines thrown out by the audience and cast. Newspapers to protect heads from the rain, flashlights to guide us to the castle, toilet paper (Great Scot!) and toast being tossed around the cinema. It was a great night. If you're up for something a little different I would highly recommend it. After the show we left the cinema in a hurry to get back to the apartment (the girls still needed to pack), and after entering the subway still laughing, the guy next to us on the platform said he really enjoyed our performances. How does one respond to that? Hey random stranger, I'm really glad you liked my stunted fake orgasm! An awkward smile crossed my face as I said thanks . His girlfriend rapidly grabbed his arm and dragged him further away - waaaay further down the platform. Oh sweetheart, you don't need to worry, no danger here.
Home by 4am, no point in sleeping until the girls are off. I book a car to pick them up, edit some photos whilst Deanna packed and Tree napped. 6am and the girls have left, the apartment is now very quiet and very empty. Tough choice on wether I stay up and sleep later tonight or get a little sleep to restore some normality. Somehow, at the ripe old age of 45, I have managed to loose my virginity and my daughter in the matter of a few hours. What a night! Time for some sleep...