Today I was very selfish, today it was all about me and mine, and you cannot wipe the smile from my face.

Saturday and the heat is killing me, worked today and then spent the rest of the day drifting in and out of sleep.  I tried writing folks I really did, but my brain be fried.  So, in lieu of my life here's a piece of an imaginary one I've been toying with...

The reality is that most days are much like the one before, most days are free of incident or excitement.  They come with no agenda, they see us go through our routines and then they leave just as benignly.

It is too hot.  I don’t do heat well.  It makes me tired and grumpy.  I am unable to speak without strange noises leaving my mouth, not sure if it’s because my mouth feels like it has melted down my face or if the heat has caused a short circuit in my brain wiring and I just can’t make the words happen. Even Deanna is looking at me strangely.  To make matters worse, when I got home the air-con was set to 20 degrees so I now am sneezing and have a chill.  In a bid to recover I am employing the rules of the IT world.  I am rebooting as step one, powering down tonight and will hit the on button again in the morning. I am hoping this will reset my internal thermostatand move me further into my summer setting. If this fails, my favourite flowers are tulips.  Thank you in advance.

Dear world, I am not perfect - I’m sure I have said that before, but I really want you to take notice this time.  No I mean it, please understand I’m not perfect, and just quietly neither are you.  I am sorry that you feel I fail you or that I disappoint you on occasion, but you have been warned - many, many times…

Today was my first day back after 9 days off.  Nine days of rest and relaxation. 9 days of me time - well 8 if you take out Christmas.  9 days of lets face it - not a lot. Needless to say it was a bit of a challenge heading back in today.

So I start the day by telling my nearest and dearest that I will live intentionally.  I will not live as a reactionary, as a victim of circumstance, no matter how small or mundane they are.  The responses were varied, from positive support to a questioning “Don’t you do that already?” 

I am, I will freely admit, a work in progress.   I know that quite often it’s said flippantly as an excuse for less than ideal behaviour or thoughts, but that’s not the case here.  Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I really don’t like myself because of something I have said or done, or even just thought, but I am aware of it and am working consciously to change it.

Christmas a time to be joyful, a time to give, a time to share with your loved ones.  I look forward to it every year, and this year we kicked it off with a quick but very effective shopping trip culminating in a trip to the “fragrance department” of David Jones and I was still trying to recover hours later.

I want something.  I know not what I yearn for but the yearning is there nevertheless.  Don't get me wrong, I have an idea of what it is, but I don't know if it is that which I want, or my idea of what that will bring with it.  What if I do not know my own mind?

NaNoWriMo, say it three times fast.  No don’t, you’ll sound silly.  It stands for National Novel Writing Month and occurs during November.  I {insert one of the following here: Stupidly, Hopefully, Bravely, Begrudgingly, Excitedly} undertook this challenge with the assistance of Amanda and Kan and soon to be joined by Mare.  It was a challenging time let me tell you.

It has occurred to me of late that all of my problems stem from one immutable fact. There is nothing I can do to change it.  There is nothing I can do to prevent it’s effect on my daily life.  No matter how hard I’ve tried, no matter the lengths I have gone to, it always wins out…

There’s advice aplenty about how to be a good parent.  Parenting a small child, a toddler, tweens and teens.  Parenting girls and boys, parenting twins, but no-one teaches you about Childing - or being an adult child to your parents. ..

Energetic (and yet somehow lethargic at the same time) bubbly type seeks stunt double.  No, I am not shooting a movie about myself.  Nor am I planning on taking up any dangerous sports (taking up sports, hehe, giggles silently to self).  But if you are interested in being a stunt double in my daily life, read on…

There are times in life when we don’t want to face things, where we live in denial for the longest time, performing incredible feats and going to extraordinary lengths to avoid our nemesis at all costs.

A question trembles in the silence: Why did this remarkable thing happen to this perfectly ordinary woman? It may not matter why the world shifted so drastically for her. Existence is slippery at the best of times. What does matter is that Carmelina Pascoe isn't ordinary. She's one of us. A woman determined to prevail in the world that was, and the world that is, or the world that will be...in the Twilight Zone.

Today was a nondescript day - but even average days have lessons in them, or confirm what you think you know.  Here are a few in no particular order…

So the plan was set, finish work and head into the city to shoot.  Alas, it wasn’t to be, the evening morphed into a date with my daughter and I couldn’t have planned it better if I tried.

It seemed like a straight forward enough question, what does kindness mean to me? But it took 6 hours of walking, much laughter, a suspect Wesley Snipes sighting, a lot of sangria and a power nap to get to the answer.